Intimacy lost? – Ways to attract it back into the relationship

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Intimacy lost? – Ways to attract it back into the relationship
Admit it. If you are reading this up, this actually may be bothering you for a while. What is going wrong in your relationship? Where are the things falling apart? What’s the issue? You are looking for something to work out, but how to go about things? No clue? Well then, let’s begin from the very beginning.

How it used to be
Everything was so cool, hunky – dory and happy back then – when you two had first met, got along, got committed and maybe got married or started living together. It was all beautiful and perfect. But as time passed, you and him got so used to the routine, you probably took each other for granted so much that you have stopped valuing your relationship. It happens. Being in close contact for long makes it dull, unless you have constantly been reinventing your romance. And since everyone is so busy all the time, certainly this important bit is skipped many a times. Other things look more important than the relationship, and we rush to finish them. Due to all this negligence, often the relationship suffers and becomes such a liability you’d rather end it and become free.

Intimacy lost-Ways to attract it back into the relationship
But is that the solution? Breaking free makes sense, but not unless you have tried to fix it. Here are some ways to get the old spice back into your love life. Try them out; give your relationship a chance to come to the intimacy level you crave:

– It’s time for new research: If you have forgotten to find out the good things out from your partner’s personality and appreciate them, it’s time you got on to it. Look at things they do and you like.
– Compliment: It is not enough to spot these things in your partner, it is also important to compliment them for it. Vocal acknowledgement does not only make them feel good, it makes you feel better about the whole thing too.

– Communicate your intimacy issues: Discuss with (them) your partner about why the level of intimacy went down in your relationship and what can be done about it. Very surely, they are missing it too, as much or even more than you. The relationship works both ways – it is a team game as there are no “me” in a team game, when it moves from “Me” to “We” that’s when all areas in the relationship start flourishing and you then come in the presence of the over-flow of love, fire and desire. You can use various online tools as well, like mails, romantic date ideas for ease of communication or this cute little websites I came across recently to find innovative ways for communicating properly to your lover.
– Keeping expectations real: Are you expecting things from a partner they are not aware of? Are they unable to know or realize what you are expecting? Are you communicating enough? These are the questions you need to address. Try and find the answers to these questions and solve them positively. Communication is the key to most problems. If you communicate with clarity and honesty, there can be a way out.

Try!  till it makes sense
It is not easy to let go of all the piled up of sentiments that have led you to actually lose your intimacy level with your partner, but it is worth giving a shot if you remember what it was like when the magic was still there. If you cannot be reminded of any good things and feel grateful about them, it probably best to call it a day. Otherwise, try using various communication and behavioral tools to repair the damage. It is a good thing to do. Good ol’ loving making (with that love song do it for you or something else) would go a fair way to help but it won’t if you both fall back to old routines and habits.

You have support!
You do not have to be alone in this till you want it that way. If you and your partner are private people, it is understandable that you want to keep it with yourselves. If not, you can talk to people – friends, family or your group. In case you feel like it, go for relationship classes and therapy to try to find a way out of the deadlock. It is always better to let it all out instead of bolting it in as it can get out of your system easily.

Whilst you are contemplating on how best this article serves you, have a listen below, to “I love you” by Keith Washington and Chante Moore. Share your thoughts or make a comment.

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